I am not who you think I am.
I am an imposter.
I’m not even who I think I am.
I’m somebody else, sometimes on a daily basis. When you live with a shadow of disease as insidious as Parkinson’s, you learn that having a fluctuating ideal of the best you is the kindest and healthiest thing that you can do for yourself.
Often, we compare ourselves to “ the old me”.
Such a creature never really existed anywhere, but in our own minds, and some peer and society driven ideal of what we were supposed are doing or accomplishing.
All along the old you was still becoming. Learning. trying again. Because you never really lose yourself you just fail.
And failure is allowable.
Failure is human. Failure allows you to get up and try again when you don’t think you have strength to even move because this can’t be it you say to yourself. This can’t be the end.
And so, you keep going broken, battered, Kintsugi inspired- warrior dressed in the gold shades of your own failures and successes. They all blend into something beautiful
And new.
And old.
Let the image of the broken creature in your head, go and be what the universe has made you. Resilient. Fractured. Yet, renewed, and strong, honed by adversity and triumph.
YOU are strength.
Never forget.
XOXO
-Mel
